Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever

Fav 23 2551 819
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(423): View more from Tennessee

He played with my vagina like it was a turntable

Fav 24 4456 1907
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.

Fav 26 965 4950
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(407): View more from Florida

At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER

Fav 4 2830 1160
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(734): View more from Michigan

He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.

Fav 12 1847 3997
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(302): View more from Delaware

Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

Fav 2 2789 1167
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(518): View more from New York

Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

Fav 8 992 1479
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(740): View more from Ohio

I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.

(1-740): View more from Ohio

I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..

Fav 2 933 363
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(440): View more from Ohio

sorry for showing your butt to the bar

(513): View more from Ohio

sorry for licking your cheek

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