Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think people are normalizing furries
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
