...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
