No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
