Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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