and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This is the high leading the old right now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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