dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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