yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
