I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
