even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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