this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
