I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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