this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
