She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
