Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
