No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize