Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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