He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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