she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize