Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
