dude i'm inner monologue high
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
