so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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