Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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