I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
