Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
