we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
