It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
