I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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