Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
