I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
