I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need a beard to bite.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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