she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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