Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
