It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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