well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
