Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
