I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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