hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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