would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She's the barista slut.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize