He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
