I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize