The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
