Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she told me i tasted like america
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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