I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
