does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
