U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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