This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
