if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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