and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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