is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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