that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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