how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
