god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
