what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
