A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
