somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
