I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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