I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
