All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
